Dear Mom ,                                                                              February 13, 2021

This is your daughter Kathy again.  I have been writing you weekly memories that I have of you growing up and of you as a grandmother or memories of visiting you when you lived alone in Virginia Beach.  Years ago I started a blog that I would write frequently, so I have been going back into some old posts to get a glimpse of daily life.  I found this one and it made me laugh.  It was dated November13,2008, it was titled “Have some More” and pretty much describes you and your wonderful gift of hospitality.

“Just got back from visiting with family this past weekend. I was happy to see my older sister and her husband from Alabama (Barbara and Joe.)  However, the crowning glory was visiting my mom. My mom, also known as "Have some more, you know I made it just for you!" Queen of Guilt.

Now before you say, "oh come on now, no one put a gun to your head to make you overeat."  Let me tell you about the Queen of Guilt.

My mom will be 80 in January.  She has been a widow and lived alone for over 20 years.  She is very active in her church and does lots of volunteer work.  My mom is the hub of my extended family.  She loves to email and talk on the phone so we allow her to be the "mouthpiece of the family".  It doesn't matter if I have just talked to both of my sisters in the last half hour, we all know to just sit down and listen to the recap from mom.

It can't be Sunday with family visiting unless there is fried chicken, biscuits, mashed potatoes, sweet corn, green beans, and at least 3 desserts served on her best china in the dining room.  To eat less than your share at the dinner table makes her feel like she is slipping in her hospitality skills and (God forbid) getting too old to provide for the family that she has sacrificed for all her life.

My mom grew up during the depression, so always having plenty of food on the table is vastly important to her.  She is terrified that someone may actually leave her table hungry.  Being a gracious southern lady requires her to "kill the fatted calf" and make all your favorite foods.  It is her way to show love and affection.

Diets to mom simply mean you eat only one dessert.  My mom will also make little statements like:  "You know it does my heart good, to see you all enjoying my food.  Did you have a plenty?  Do you think I should whip up some cornbread with that?  The ritual continued this past weekend and she continues to reign supreme. "Betty Crocker, move over..Meet my Momma!"

Mom, not only were you a great cook, gracious hostess, and wonderful mom you also sent us home loaded down with our favorite food and gas money.

We love you and miss you and pray for you daily.  I hope you enjoyed a glimpse of your old life.  You are greatly loved.

Kathy (that middle girl) and Charlie (Mr. Fix-it)